By Mike Carbuncle Once again, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has shown their dedication to eliminating the hard-core criminal elements in our society. Rather than pursuing those troublesome rapists, drug dealers, white slavers and corrupt government officials, they have decided to concentrate their efforts on the most dangerous of foes - a little old lady who writes mystery novels. This columnist has learned that some fatuous, overblown pinhead in the FBI has decided to investigate one of New England's own treasures - T.R. Williams.

That's right. The pea-brained powers that be have decided to spend your hard-earned money and mine to see if the widow of a U.S. Congressman is really a serial killer. It seems that wherever T.R. Williams goes when she is researching one of her books, somebody keels over with a knife in their back or poison in their blood. It doesn't matter that T.R. has deduced the identity of the real killer each time, far ahead of the "professional" investigators. These "pros" are thick-headed goons from local police departments and the FBI who have an IQ surpassed by most primates. It also doesn't matter that the killers have been convicted from all of the evidence that T.R. has discovered in her investigations; evidence missed by the same incompetents who are now investigating her.

It seems that the bozos in the Bureau have been shown to be the amateur idiots that we've always suspected they were. Jealous of T.R.'s successes, they're out to sling as much mud as their childish hands can get their hands on. Meanwhile, the less-important slime - the ones that make each day in Dorchester or Roxbury a drug-induced nightmare highlighted by the assaults of young urban maggots - they are laughing at the FBI as the pimples on the face of humanity do business as usual. Instead of cleaning up the dregs and scum of humanity, the FBI is spending its time harassing the innocent. We are fortunate that T.R. Williams is around to catch a few of the slime that the FBI couldn't find with a map and a full confession.